Why Traditions Matter

Traditions matter.

Whether we are honoring traditions from our past–those created through the generations by other family members or even ourselves—or creating new memories–symbolic rituals, traditions, and habits remind us of something deeper; our connection to one another.

Traditions often come with stories–of their creation and their creators. Rituals , traditions, and the passing on of stories have been around since the dawn of Man and across cultures.  And although at this time of the year–the holiday season–I am referring to  family traditions and routines more so than  exclusively spiritual or religious rituals and traditions,  the biggest parallel is a reminder of CONNECTION.

As a former family therapist, an intuitive, and someone who has now worked with family members on both sides of the veil for a decade, I can say with certainty that one of our society’s biggest problems is the loss of connectedness–within the individual and outside the individual as well. A loss of a sense of connection can bring on feelings of isolation and depression.  It can increase substance abuse and self-neglect, and in more severe cases even lead to actions of self-harm.  We have mistakenly perceived our increased technological connectivity as being more connected, when the reality is that increased technological advancements have brought about a decrease in authentic connections and meaningful bonds for humanity.

For some in the younger generations,  the popularized apathy toward spirituality and religion combined with fragmented familial connections bring about a sense of feeling lost, or adrift and aimless.  Now more than ever people-young and old alike–need an anchor-a rock–on which they can lean.  When there is no spiritual faith, and no reliable or caring  family member, where does one turn? Having friends, co-workers, or even distant family members who carry on yearly (or even weekly, monthly, etc) traditions is a source of comfort.  It can feel like coming “home”.

Unfortunately it’s true that some of us do not have family members with whom we can easily connect. Many of us have nearly our entire family on the Other Side, or we have lost our connection due to family members abandoning the family, abusing substances, or any number of reasons. But it’s never too late to reconnect if it feels right–or to create tighter bonds and traditions with friends, co-workers, neighbors, and others.  Traditions are comforting, often fun, and always bring a sense of connectedness.  Traditions can be as simple as where or how we gather for an occasion or special date, the food we create or bring, the prayers we say, a song we sing, or the stories we share.  Many families create new traditions to honor those who have passed on in a certain way.  It could be a family trip to the cemetery, special holiday ornaments created as a family, and so on. The possibilities are endless.

In an era where technology has created an increased but false sense of connection,  I encourage everyone to make an increasing effort to reach out to family, friends, and neighbors.  We need one another.  I am a strong advocate for family dinners, a game night, or just familiar routines for a sense of rhythm and connectedness within a family.  Connection heals.

Wishing everyone a special holiday season filled with traditions–old and new.

 

Blessings,

~ Heather

Surviving Grief Through the Holidays

The holiday season with all of the memories, traditions, and “good wishes” flooding us nearly daily, can be almost unbearable to those who are grieving a loss.  Here I share just a few tips to help you get through this time of year.  But most of all I want you to know that those in Spirit ARE indeed with us as we gather with friends and family.  So knowing that, why not do a few things just as you would when they were here?  If you know they loved it then, then believe me they are still enjoying it now! (Just in a different way). They watch you. They hear you. They love and guide you with every breath you take, every day.  Love never ends.

  • Don’t isolate yourself.  Yes, it may take quite some effort.  But get yourself out to that holiday party.  Or, if that is too much to bear, invite a couple of close friends over for tea or wine, and a small gift exchange.  Take a friend or family member shopping or out for a special dinner.  Being alone often intensifies feelings of grief and depression, despite your thoughts that being immersed in holiday joy would be more painful.
  • Do something in memory or in honor of your passed loved one(s). Big or small, whatever the gesture is, it will be known by those in Spirit.  You are likely to even feel their presence as you embark on your task.  Perhaps you might hand craft a Christmas ornament with their name or photo on it, or from their clothing. (Invite friends and/or family over so everyone can make something!) Maybe you will  create a new tradition or even donate some of their toys, tools, or other items to those in need this year. Your passed loved ones will be so proud of you for doing something positive in the face of loss.  They cheer us on every day in every way.
  • Keep those traditions!  While it is also nice to create new traditions to honor those no longer with us, our spirit loves also want us to maintain the traditions we enjoy and not abandon them due to grief or because we feel we “shouldn’t be” enjoying such things in the face of loss. On the contrary, we honor those in spirit best by fully living our lives, and that includes keeping those holiday traditions we have always enjoyed.  Plus, they will still join us and enjoy them too- just in a different way.
  • Do something special for yourself. This includes allowing yourself time to grieve, if you have felt pressured to conceal it or are a person who has tried to stay super busy to stay distracted from your grief. Eventually we have to express our grief.  It will find a way to emerge, one way or another.   We have to fully feel to begin to heal.  If we try to hold it in we may develop severe  depression, anxiety, and a host of health issues. We need moments to “let it all out”.  So go ahead. But also, do something fun, loving, or nurturing for yourself.  On the theme of grief, maybe schedule an appointment with a grief counselor or join a support group.  Be good to yourself.  If the house will be quiet Christmas morning, for example, then sleep in. Indulge in your favorite treats–or bake them if you enjoy that.  Create a “spa day” for yourself with a luxurious bath and whatever else you wish to pamper yourself with. Buy yourself a gift you have long wanted–or in the theme of spa day–purchase yourself a massage! Read a favorite book (or 3!) and catch that movie with that friend you have put off visiting for too long. You get the idea.  Self-focus is self-care, and that is so important.  Do things that feel good, and do not feel guilty!

These tips are not limited to the holidays of course. I hope they give you some ideas to help as you journey through your grief and healing. It’s not so much about distracting yourself from your loss; its about including your passed loved ones in the things you’ve always enjoyed while creating other positive traditions or habits that you may not have done while they were here. It’s acknowledging the loss, but in a positive way–with love and appreciation for the life they lived, their place in your life, and a promise to fully live yours.  This will make you feel better, as well as delighting those in Spirit.  They watch over you, and want you to be happy and embrace your life.

May peace and blessings be with you this holiday season and throughout 2019.

With Love,

Heather

Advice from the Dead-Can They Help Us?

Q: I am struggling with some big decisions and disturbing situations in my life. My father always had the best advice for me, but now he has passed. Can you connect with him to find out what he thinks I should do?

A: Can I connect with your passed father? Most likely, yes! Then what? Well, your father would certainly provide throughout the session evidence as to his identity. This can be very comforting and enjoyable, as things such as his off-key singing, his love of butterscotch candy, and the fact that he flew airplanes as a hobby could come through. He might make mention of the fishing trip in Florida you took with him, and the fact that you got a new job. For further validation he might mention his ongoing health struggles or the fact that he was in and out of the hospital exactly 3 times. It’s also likely there would be indicators of his awareness of the situations going on in your life. I might even hear his common expressions, for example, if he were a person who might say, “It never rains but when it pours!” But will he TELL you what to do? Most likely no. Even if he did that a lot when he was here. Why? Because now that he sees a bigger picture, he knows that this is YOUR unique journey, and gets a sense of your bigger picture as a soul as well. The rare times I have heard them share what seems like advice, have been times when their living loved one has already moved in that direction anyway. The other exception is when a person is in a dangerous or abusive situation, where a passed loved one may express their concern and tell you to get out of the situation, or stop the harmful behavior. I always say that the mere mention of your struggles from the Spirit World should be comforting, as they are aware of your life and they do protect and subtly guide us energetically, when that is what is meant to be. Love never ends! ❤️

Sending love and blessings,

Heather

Can I Become a Professional Psychic or Medium?

I have received this question quite often and I hope the people who need this most find this post. Consider this a public service announcement, from the heart.
All of us have intuition…it’s natural to be intuitive!  Intuition has aided our ancestors in sensing danger, illness, and so much more.  Some of us are naturally more intuitive, and connected to that intuition, than others.  We may be highly empathic and tuned into others’ feelings.  We may have a bit of knowing when something is about to happen, or we think of someone and they suddenly call us.  And  yes, some people have significant psychic and even mediumistic abilities.  Perhaps you may have known this about yourself from your earliest days. Or maybe it “jumped out” later in life. Like playing a piano, some folks have natural-born talents and gifts. We all have heard of those who sit down at a piano or pick up an instrument and can immediately play something  by ear without reading any music, or create something “off the cuff”. Quite amazing!  There are some budding musicians who need a few lessons and a bit of practice and can quickly develop into concert pianists.   And of course there are some (like me) who can’t get much past “Row Row Your Boat” and “Hot Cross Buns” on the piano no matter how hard we may try. Developing psychic abilities is much the same. If it is a field in which you wish to develop, and you know you have natural and or increasingly burgeoning skills,  I encourage you to practice, study, learn and go for it! Try out many different “mentors”, teachers and classes. You will find your path and increase in strengths… IF (and this is huge) it is where you are MEANT to go.  Sometimes this journey is meant to be started simply to increase personal awareness and confidence, and to develop more trust in your life and help you to make better choices.   You may find that with your new “awakening” doors are opening like never before and many opportunities in seemingly unrelated areas of your life now lay at your feet. This does indeed happen! 
The “abilities” can only be taught to an EXTENT, and what works for one excellent mentor may not be YOUR best way or even feel right to you. So as you are hearing (or reading)  “do this, don’t do that”, or “these are the steps you take to…(fill in the blank)” see if it fits, or not.
The final point I need to make is a big one! YOU DO NOT NEED A “CERTIFICATION” IN ANYTHING RELATED TO THIS FIELD TO BE AN AMAZING AND CREDIBLE PSYCHIC/MEDIUM. In recent years there has been an increasing number of  psychics, mediums, and the like who offer “certifications” in psychic and medium work, leading you to believe that being granted this piece of paper from them is necessary or significant in where you can or will go with your work.  For the majority of these certification courses and classes there is no universal standard by which everyone’s skills are measured.  Typically the certification is given for simply taking a course or courses.
The American Medical Association and the Board of Behavioral Health Examiners give licenses and certifications based on criteria such as the following:
Meeting a particular number of client (or patient) contact hours per week or month–starting with working under various levels of supervision.
Working particular medical or mental health cases to have varied experience and to hone particular skills.
Proper documentation and follow through of clients or patients.
Maintaining a standard of care.
Demonstrating a high level of efficacy in your skill set with measurable results.
Demonstrating knowledge in ethical standards of practice.
These boards exist to set a standard, and as a resource for the public to report individuals who fail to meet that standard.  Individual cases are reviewed and it is determined whether a certification or license  should be revoked, or renewed.
Simply because this work is more “ethereal” or “mystical” in nature does not mean that we shouldn’t have more “quality control” over who does this work.  I wish we did.  Those in need of guidance and the healing of grief are often vulnerable, may lack self-confidence, and are feeling lost..sometimes even suicidal.  There is an enormous responsibility on a practitioner in the psychic field to be responsible, caring, and to always “do no harm”.
Not only do most who take certain courses from mentors in the psychic and medium fields receive certification for simply taking the course, but there is no way to measure or re-evaluate this person’s skill set/abilities over time to determine whether the “certification” is still valid.  There is no way to hold them accountable for less than ethical practices.  This is why as a consumer, you should not necessarily place higher trust or value in a person claiming to be “certified.”
Some mediums and psychics are being tested by scientists and thus speak of being “scientifically authenticated”.  That would be true, based on that particular scientist’s determination.  Yet it isn’t feasible for many legitimate mediums working today to connect with scientists and receive such “authentication”.
For the burgeoning practitioner, your teachers or mentors may want you to demonstrate your mastery of  following their personal methods to receive a certification.  Perhaps you take the course, struggle and fumble through, but are relieved to receive that piece of paper.  Then months or maybe years later,  you may discover you have your own methods which are yielding  better results than anything you learned in a class–even the one where you earned your “certification”.  Spirit works in mysterious ways and between you and your unique soul contract, you will find what works best for you.  Ultimately what gets you somewhere is YOU–your skills, your gifts, your sincerity, and your hard work. There is no organization that recognizes a certification in mediumship to the point it garners you a nationally recognized credibility or opportunity. None.   You might be impressed with those you train with.  Perhaps you have been an admirer or a fan of a particular psychic or medium for years.  You can’t wait to show the world you trained with this person (or people) only to realize that the mainstream population (where you will find most of your clients) has no clue who they are.  The exception might be the television celebrity mediums. Ultimately, you can train with the best and quite honestly, simply be mediocre. This is a path of the soul. Think twice before digging deep into your pockets for thousands of dollars for a “certification”. If you are doing it for you, great. Many working psychics, mediums, and spiritual teachers or coaches teach wonderful classes..take them.  But if it comes with a painfully high fee, or more disturbingly, if it is extra $ to get “certified”, think twice. A positive reputation garnered through work of consistent and excellent quality, your personal integrity, and word of mouth referrals will be what helps you grow your business.  A certification or a laundry list of everyone you trained with won’t mean much if ultimately, the skill set is not powerful and consistent.

Is There Really a Rainbow Bridge?

 Many people ask me if we will be reunited with our sweet animal friends ever again.  The answer?      Most definitely it is YES!

How do I know?

Time and time again, not only have I brought through the names of beloved pets, but also their personality characteristics!  I feel the energy of your animals as they connect with me.  Also, many passed loved ones come through with a dog (or several) standing beside or crowding around them, or holding a kitty in their arms.  One son came through with a ferret riding on his shoulder!  I know our beloved pets are just beyond the veil, waiting to reunite with us. I recall one little West Highland White Terrier who was even able to share with me the “second name” his human mama called him, and with the help of this darling pooch, I was able to walk through this woman’s house and show her where his favorite areas were, at what time of day, and what he would do in each location!   I had never heard about the “Rainbow Bridge” as a place where our animals greet us on the other side until I read about it years ago.  It could metaphorically simply mean we have a special meeting place with our pets when we cross over.  But as an evidential medium, I have never seen or felt our animal friends coming through from “a different place” than our family members and other passed dear ones.   Perhaps some mediums have seen this bridge, yet I never have.  I can tell you without a doubt, however, that we will be together again with our furry, feathered, scaly, slimy, you-name-it  babies when we cross over one day.  And personally?  That Heavenly moment is the experience I most look forward to when my time comes to cross over.

Love truly never ends.

Blessings,

Heather

When Can I See You Again?

"When can I see you again?"

As much as this may sound like a common phrase spoken to a prospective romantic partner after an incredible first date, I am referring to a different type of relationship here. I am referring to the medium-client relationship. I understand the addiction. A reading, when we have that truly amazing connection with our loved ones on the other side, can leave a person spellbound. But a truly ethical medium will not encourage you to return anytime soon.

Why?

There are several reasons. First of all, seeking too many readings can be a distraction from one's grief. Sitting with a medium can indeed feel like partaking in an alternate reality. It's not that there is anything wrong with an occasional distraction from our sorrows and seeking some comfort. But a good reading can really feel like a true visit or reunion with our dear loved ones in Heaven, and during such visits, we can avoid dealing with the reality of the loss of their physical presence. There comes a time we need to really "be" with our grief, and adjust, the best we can, to the loss. Too many readings can interfere with a healthy healing and coping process. Seeking out connections through mediums can truly become an addiction and a way to avoid everyday "reality". The same could be said of psychic readings when we constantly seek help with life situations through psychic advice. Too many people stop trusting their inner guidance and put too much faith into the insight of a psychic. That's just not what we are here to do. Likewise, your spirit people on the other side want you to learn to sense, trust, and believe that they are still with you, and aware of your life. We need time to notice the signs. They emphasize that really living your life should not mean spending a lot of time seeking a connection with the deceased. You are not "bothering" them when having a reading. But they want what's best for your life, and repeatedly seeking out mediums is not of great benefit.

Another reason to allow a lot of time between readings is that those who seek out too many readings with a passed loved one in too short of time will often find the information coming through to seem more generalized, the pace too slow, or the connection not as powerful. I once was connecting parents with their adolescent son in spirit who had died in a skiing accident. Kids can typically connect very strongly, with their personalities apparent, sharing plenty of humor and undeniable evidence for their parents. My connection with this young spirit started strong, but seemed to fade very prematurely, so I asked him what was going on.
"My parents do this all of the time" he said.
I asked the parents if they had seen a medium before and they acknowledged they had. I asked them how many other times they have had readings, and the response was "a couple of times."
"Try 8 times!", their son shouted in my head.
I shared his words and both parents paused a moment, chuckled, and acknowledged that was an accurate statement, having had that number of readings in a mere 3 months' time.

The general rule I share with my clients is that if our session together is your first reading ever to connect with someone who has passed, you can probably have another in 4 to 6 months. But the general rule is to wait longer after each consecutive reading. If you want to have a third reading with me, or any other medium, you now should wait at least 9 to 12 months. If you receive a brief connection at an event, it is probably alright to schedule a private session shortly thereafter.

Most of all, I want you to know that you do not need a medium to connect with your loved ones in Heaven. They are always around you, connected through the bonds of love. They hear your words, your thoughts, and your prayers. They remain aware of your life. Learn to trust that when you suddenly think of them, they are saying hello. Trust that when you hear them in your head, that too is a hello. And when something happens and you wonder if it is a sign from someone in Heaven, the fact that you wondered means that yes, it is!
Blessings,
Heather

If We All Stood In Our Power

Many of us have been “sleepwalking” through life. We subjugate our own thoughts and objectivity to those we deem as wiser, more successful, or to “trending” thoughts, “causes” and ideas. We must recognize our own biases and over-reaching perceptions, their origins, and the way our past and our thought patterns serve–or do not serve–our Highest Good. In these times more than ever it is important we recognize, heal, and move beyond our wounds and embrace optimism to fully realize our inner strengths, and infinite potential.

If we all stood in our power we would have compassion for the wounded, and the hurting, and the victims…without having to relive and reignite any of our own past moments of pain and victimization. We would avoid being influenced by populace news and media encouraging us to revisit concern or create new concern, over pasts that we have successfully progressed beyond. If we have neither significantly struggled nor suffered, or fit into a category of the historically persecuted, it’s important we not feel any guilt or shame over being who we are today. We can embrace the heritage of our past without identifying with or holding onto the wounds of the past, or those who caused them. Perhaps we are folks with “non-eventful” lives or pasts; or we are among those who have overcome significant difficulties to be successful, independent-thinking adults. Maybe we just do not allow our struggles to define us. It’s okay to feel we have progressed beyond our pasts, and to feel that we have become strong and resilient. It’s okay to say we are okay with our personal history. When we stand in our power, we see life events objectively, and past events as whatever they were–possibly struggles, and perhaps worse–but in the past. We extract the lessons, and see the strengths; we see how we persevered and survived. Ideally, we are able to see people as people–as individuals–and we accept them without judgment on any level. We don’t see race, gender, financial status, power, or weakness. We see a person. As critical consumers of information, we are aware of the draw and pull of mass media, of celebrity, of “group think”. We realize the power of repetition upon the subconscious mind, and yet gratefully, we are able to observe from a detached and objective perspective; to see a larger view of the “themes” that are prevalent in news reporting, and any biases. When we stand solid in our personal awareness and power, we know it’s okay to be…”okay”. It’s okay to be in a good place, and it’s okay to not see threats at every turn. It’s not just okay, it’s healthy! When we stand in our power we recognize with concern the current popularity of embracing victim hood, and the current blanket denigration and vilification of those innocents who may resemble, in any way (whether through race, gender, spiritual beliefs, etc) those who committed wrongdoings in the past. We are being encouraged to gaze warily upon strength, wisdom, power and even wealth, or those who embody any definition of power or strength or financial success–traits that ideally would be sought after and celebrated. There seems to be a concerning push against unity and optimism. There is a popular effort to reshape the definition and perception of individual strength and power as threatening–as an enemy–as that to be feared. This comes as a threat to the strength and power of the individual, and individual thinking and decision making. Hold, embrace, and stand in your power as a unique individual. Be present. Be optimistic. Most importantly, be who you are and embrace your strength. It will serve you well.

Note: In addition to being an established and acclaimed Evidential Medium, Heather M Hunter MA holds a degree in Marriage and Family Therapy and continues to teach and speak about the important topics of personal empowerment, human potential, and “self-mastery”.

What is “Divine Timing?”

When I work with clients in a private mediumship session, some will want to ask questions about their life direction and are seeking some intuitive insight.  I often encourage my clients to trust in “Divine timing.” What exactly does that mean?

As human beings, we often have set ideas in our mind about when things should happen–and even how.  When things do not go the way we had planned or envisioned we may get discouraged, or even downright depressed depending on the circumstances and our individual personalities and patterns.  We often get timelines in our minds about things such as being married or having children by a certain age.  Or perhaps we have a certain salary in our head that we should be earning by the time we reach a certain age.  We have a lot of “shoulds” in our minds–whether conscious or unconscious.  As I’ve heard it said, we need to stop “shoulding” all over ourselves!

We naturally derive such ideas for our lives through our own family members–either the way they themselves have lived or are living, or by what they tell us we “should” (there’s that word again!) be doing.  And let’s admit it, many of us are molded and influenced for better or worse by the omnipresent media stories and images–of people doing, achieving, and “being.” These people, mind you, often live in a rather isolated reality that is nothing like what the majority of us have ever experienced.  They are famous, wealthy, privileged, or being raised by family members  who are those things.  But if we can’t gauge our progress or success by those around us, how do we get a sense that we are on the right track?

This is where developing our own “inner compass” comes into play.  We need to get a better sense of who we are as unique individuals–souls–with a unique path, purpose, and desire.  After all “success” is a very subjective term, and to think we are all content or happy with the same kinds of lives is silly.  We need to allow ourselves to view what seem like “mistakes” as part of our soul journey, and try to learn from them instead of dwelling upon or beating ourselves up over them.   But most of all, we need to TRUST that God/Universe/Source has a greater plan for us than our current struggles. When we begin to trust that things are unfolding as they are meant to for us, we are more tolerant of  what may seem like “obstacles” on our paths.  It’s  often the case that we are not being “held back” from something we desire; we are instead being “redirected” and placed on a path to something that will ultimately be much more rewarding–but we can’t see that yet. If we accept that what we want will come in “Divine timing” we can more easily go with the flow and enjoy life–one day at a time.

Love,

Heather

Spirit is Always Working on Our Behalf

In loving memory of our sweet Tinkerbell Valentine Hunter November 2009-February 2, 2017

We often don’t see or feel how Spirit is working in our lives when we are in the midst of stress or sorrow. I am my own case in point. I have felt my mother’s presence more than usual lately, not really knowing why. Our sweet little Lemon Beagle Tinkerbell has had health challenges most of her life.  We noticed a significant decline over the past few months and suddenly she seemed particularly distressed.The other night, I stayed up with her late into the evening. As I sat with her, prayed, and comforted her, I became aware of movement and shadows out of the corner of my eye. I strongly felt my mother in Spirit near me. The next morning before heading to the vet I felt compelled to post a video on my Facebook Page about a Spirit cat in Heaven talking to her “mom” from the Rainbow Bridge–the place our pets in Spirit meet us when we cross over.  I was not even thinking about the imminent possibility of our own dog crossing over.  During the vet visit I saw via Xrays that our poor little dog was filled with cancer, along with other issues.  It was clear her precious days were numbered. I was devastated.  However as I look back on what I had been experiencing during Tinkerbell’s last couple of weeks here in the physical realm, I can say with certainty I was receiving comfort and reassurance  from the Spirit Realm.  We are never truly alone.     Blessings, ~Heather

What Spirit Thinks of Your Family Feud

Is your family feuding because you could not agree on where or how to bury a family member after their passing? Are you bitter over who got what, and other disagreements over assets, funerals, and what you think the passed loved one would have wanted?

Guess what? They know. They know about your fighting and who got what, and what happened (or didn’t) at their funeral or memorial service or celebration. The good, the not-so-good, and the sometimes downright ugly. Yes, they may talk about it. But I have to tell you, if you think they are going to come through and tell you to do anything about it, they won’t. At least, I’ve never heard that from Spirit. Most often, they say they are sad or disappointed over everyone’s fighting. The want people to heal, and make amends. They have lost all attachment to their “things” and the machinations of everyday life and funeral proceedings and so on. But they know who went out of their way to help. They know who comforted others, and who was rude. They know who stole from the family, and who made sacrifices. So, it’s up to us to be okay with things, make them right if need be, and move forward. Everything balances eventually, whether that happens here or in the Afterlife.

With love and blessings,
~Heather