Why Traditions Matter

Traditions matter.

Whether we are honoring traditions from our past–those created through the generations by other family members or even ourselves—or creating new memories–symbolic rituals, traditions, and habits remind us of something deeper; our connection to one another.

Traditions often come with stories–of their creation and their creators. Rituals , traditions, and the passing on of stories have been around since the dawn of Man and across cultures.  And although at this time of the year–the holiday season–I am referring to  family traditions and routines more so than  exclusively spiritual or religious rituals and traditions,  the biggest parallel is a reminder of CONNECTION.

As a former family therapist, an intuitive, and someone who has now worked with family members on both sides of the veil for a decade, I can say with certainty that one of our society’s biggest problems is the loss of connectedness–within the individual and outside the individual as well. A loss of a sense of connection can bring on feelings of isolation and depression.  It can increase substance abuse and self-neglect, and in more severe cases even lead to actions of self-harm.  We have mistakenly perceived our increased technological connectivity as being more connected, when the reality is that increased technological advancements have brought about a decrease in authentic connections and meaningful bonds for humanity.

For some in the younger generations,  the popularized apathy toward spirituality and religion combined with fragmented familial connections bring about a sense of feeling lost, or adrift and aimless.  Now more than ever people-young and old alike–need an anchor-a rock–on which they can lean.  When there is no spiritual faith, and no reliable or caring  family member, where does one turn? Having friends, co-workers, or even distant family members who carry on yearly (or even weekly, monthly, etc) traditions is a source of comfort.  It can feel like coming “home”.

Unfortunately it’s true that some of us do not have family members with whom we can easily connect. Many of us have nearly our entire family on the Other Side, or we have lost our connection due to family members abandoning the family, abusing substances, or any number of reasons. But it’s never too late to reconnect if it feels right–or to create tighter bonds and traditions with friends, co-workers, neighbors, and others.  Traditions are comforting, often fun, and always bring a sense of connectedness.  Traditions can be as simple as where or how we gather for an occasion or special date, the food we create or bring, the prayers we say, a song we sing, or the stories we share.  Many families create new traditions to honor those who have passed on in a certain way.  It could be a family trip to the cemetery, special holiday ornaments created as a family, and so on. The possibilities are endless.

In an era where technology has created an increased but false sense of connection,  I encourage everyone to make an increasing effort to reach out to family, friends, and neighbors.  We need one another.  I am a strong advocate for family dinners, a game night, or just familiar routines for a sense of rhythm and connectedness within a family.  Connection heals.

Wishing everyone a special holiday season filled with traditions–old and new.



~ Heather

Surviving Grief Through the Holidays

The holiday season with all of the memories, traditions, and “good wishes” flooding us nearly daily, can be almost unbearable to those who are grieving a loss.  Here I share just a few tips to help you get through this time of year.  But most of all I want you to know that those in Spirit ARE indeed with us as we gather with friends and family.  So knowing that, why not do a few things just as you would when they were here?  If you know they loved it then, then believe me they are still enjoying it now! (Just in a different way). They watch you. They hear you. They love and guide you with every breath you take, every day.  Love never ends.

  • Don’t isolate yourself.  Yes, it may take quite some effort.  But get yourself out to that holiday party.  Or, if that is too much to bear, invite a couple of close friends over for tea or wine, and a small gift exchange.  Take a friend or family member shopping or out for a special dinner.  Being alone often intensifies feelings of grief and depression, despite your thoughts that being immersed in holiday joy would be more painful.
  • Do something in memory or in honor of your passed loved one(s). Big or small, whatever the gesture is, it will be known by those in Spirit.  You are likely to even feel their presence as you embark on your task.  Perhaps you might hand craft a Christmas ornament with their name or photo on it, or from their clothing. (Invite friends and/or family over so everyone can make something!) Maybe you will  create a new tradition or even donate some of their toys, tools, or other items to those in need this year. Your passed loved ones will be so proud of you for doing something positive in the face of loss.  They cheer us on every day in every way.
  • Keep those traditions!  While it is also nice to create new traditions to honor those no longer with us, our spirit loves also want us to maintain the traditions we enjoy and not abandon them due to grief or because we feel we “shouldn’t be” enjoying such things in the face of loss. On the contrary, we honor those in spirit best by fully living our lives, and that includes keeping those holiday traditions we have always enjoyed.  Plus, they will still join us and enjoy them too- just in a different way.
  • Do something special for yourself. This includes allowing yourself time to grieve, if you have felt pressured to conceal it or are a person who has tried to stay super busy to stay distracted from your grief. Eventually we have to express our grief.  It will find a way to emerge, one way or another.   We have to fully feel to begin to heal.  If we try to hold it in we may develop severe  depression, anxiety, and a host of health issues. We need moments to “let it all out”.  So go ahead. But also, do something fun, loving, or nurturing for yourself.  On the theme of grief, maybe schedule an appointment with a grief counselor or join a support group.  Be good to yourself.  If the house will be quiet Christmas morning, for example, then sleep in. Indulge in your favorite treats–or bake them if you enjoy that.  Create a “spa day” for yourself with a luxurious bath and whatever else you wish to pamper yourself with. Buy yourself a gift you have long wanted–or in the theme of spa day–purchase yourself a massage! Read a favorite book (or 3!) and catch that movie with that friend you have put off visiting for too long. You get the idea.  Self-focus is self-care, and that is so important.  Do things that feel good, and do not feel guilty!

These tips are not limited to the holidays of course. I hope they give you some ideas to help as you journey through your grief and healing. It’s not so much about distracting yourself from your loss; its about including your passed loved ones in the things you’ve always enjoyed while creating other positive traditions or habits that you may not have done while they were here. It’s acknowledging the loss, but in a positive way–with love and appreciation for the life they lived, their place in your life, and a promise to fully live yours.  This will make you feel better, as well as delighting those in Spirit.  They watch over you, and want you to be happy and embrace your life.

May peace and blessings be with you this holiday season and throughout 2019.

With Love,


Advice from the Dead-Can They Help Us?

Q: I am struggling with some big decisions and disturbing situations in my life. My father always had the best advice for me, but now he has passed. Can you connect with him to find out what he thinks I should do?

A: Can I connect with your passed father? Most likely, yes! Then what? Well, your father would certainly provide throughout the session evidence as to his identity. This can be very comforting and enjoyable, as things such as his off-key singing, his love of butterscotch candy, and the fact that he flew airplanes as a hobby could come through. He might make mention of the fishing trip in Florida you took with him, and the fact that you got a new job. For further validation he might mention his ongoing health struggles or the fact that he was in and out of the hospital exactly 3 times. It’s also likely there would be indicators of his awareness of the situations going on in your life. I might even hear his common expressions, for example, if he were a person who might say, “It never rains but when it pours!” But will he TELL you what to do? Most likely no. Even if he did that a lot when he was here. Why? Because now that he sees a bigger picture, he knows that this is YOUR unique journey, and gets a sense of your bigger picture as a soul as well. The rare times I have heard them share what seems like advice, have been times when their living loved one has already moved in that direction anyway. The other exception is when a person is in a dangerous or abusive situation, where a passed loved one may express their concern and tell you to get out of the situation, or stop the harmful behavior. I always say that the mere mention of your struggles from the Spirit World should be comforting, as they are aware of your life and they do protect and subtly guide us energetically, when that is what is meant to be. Love never ends! ❤️

Sending love and blessings,


Can I Become a Professional Psychic or Medium?

I have received this question quite often and I hope the people who need this most find this post. Consider this a public service announcement, from the heart.
All of us have intuition…it’s natural to be intuitive!  Intuition has aided our ancestors in sensing danger, illness, and so much more.  Some of us are naturally more intuitive, and connected to that intuition, than others.  We may be highly empathic and tuned into others’ feelings.  We may have a bit of knowing when something is about to happen, or we think of someone and they suddenly call us.  And  yes, some people have significant psychic and even mediumistic abilities.  Perhaps you may have known this about yourself from your earliest days. Or maybe it “jumped out” later in life. Like playing a piano, some folks have natural-born talents and gifts. We all have heard of those who sit down at a piano or pick up an instrument and can immediately play something  by ear without reading any music, or create something “off the cuff”. Quite amazing!  There are some budding musicians who need a few lessons and a bit of practice and can quickly develop into concert pianists.   And of course there are some (like me) who can’t get much past “Row Row Your Boat” and “Hot Cross Buns” on the piano no matter how hard we may try. Developing psychic abilities is much the same. If it is a field in which you wish to develop, and you know you have natural and or increasingly burgeoning skills,  I encourage you to practice, study, learn and go for it! Try out many different “mentors”, teachers and classes. You will find your path and increase in strengths… IF (and this is huge) it is where you are MEANT to go.  Sometimes this journey is meant to be started simply to increase personal awareness and confidence, and to develop more trust in your life and help you to make better choices.   You may find that with your new “awakening” doors are opening like never before and many opportunities in seemingly unrelated areas of your life now lay at your feet. This does indeed happen! 
The “abilities” can only be taught to an EXTENT, and what works for one excellent mentor may not be YOUR best way or even feel right to you. So as you are hearing (or reading)  “do this, don’t do that”, or “these are the steps you take to…(fill in the blank)” see if it fits, or not.
The final point I need to make is a big one! YOU DO NOT NEED A “CERTIFICATION” IN ANYTHING RELATED TO THIS FIELD TO BE AN AMAZING AND CREDIBLE PSYCHIC/MEDIUM. In recent years there has been an increasing number of  psychics, mediums, and the like who offer “certifications” in psychic and medium work, leading you to believe that being granted this piece of paper from them is necessary or significant in where you can or will go with your work.  For the majority of these certification courses and classes there is no universal standard by which everyone’s skills are measured.  Typically the certification is given for simply taking a course or courses.
The American Medical Association and the Board of Behavioral Health Examiners give licenses and certifications based on criteria such as the following:
Meeting a particular number of client (or patient) contact hours per week or month–starting with working under various levels of supervision.
Working particular medical or mental health cases to have varied experience and to hone particular skills.
Proper documentation and follow through of clients or patients.
Maintaining a standard of care.
Demonstrating a high level of efficacy in your skill set with measurable results.
Demonstrating knowledge in ethical standards of practice.
These boards exist to set a standard, and as a resource for the public to report individuals who fail to meet that standard.  Individual cases are reviewed and it is determined whether a certification or license  should be revoked, or renewed.
Simply because this work is more “ethereal” or “mystical” in nature does not mean that we shouldn’t have more “quality control” over who does this work.  I wish we did.  Those in need of guidance and the healing of grief are often vulnerable, may lack self-confidence, and are feeling lost..sometimes even suicidal.  There is an enormous responsibility on a practitioner in the psychic field to be responsible, caring, and to always “do no harm”.
Not only do most who take certain courses from mentors in the psychic and medium fields receive certification for simply taking the course, but there is no way to measure or re-evaluate this person’s skill set/abilities over time to determine whether the “certification” is still valid.  There is no way to hold them accountable for less than ethical practices.  This is why as a consumer, you should not necessarily place higher trust or value in a person claiming to be “certified.”
Some mediums and psychics are being tested by scientists and thus speak of being “scientifically authenticated”.  That would be true, based on that particular scientist’s determination.  Yet it isn’t feasible for many legitimate mediums working today to connect with scientists and receive such “authentication”.
For the burgeoning practitioner, your teachers or mentors may want you to demonstrate your mastery of  following their personal methods to receive a certification.  Perhaps you take the course, struggle and fumble through, but are relieved to receive that piece of paper.  Then months or maybe years later,  you may discover you have your own methods which are yielding  better results than anything you learned in a class–even the one where you earned your “certification”.  Spirit works in mysterious ways and between you and your unique soul contract, you will find what works best for you.  Ultimately what gets you somewhere is YOU–your skills, your gifts, your sincerity, and your hard work. There is no organization that recognizes a certification in mediumship to the point it garners you a nationally recognized credibility or opportunity. None.   You might be impressed with those you train with.  Perhaps you have been an admirer or a fan of a particular psychic or medium for years.  You can’t wait to show the world you trained with this person (or people) only to realize that the mainstream population (where you will find most of your clients) has no clue who they are.  The exception might be the television celebrity mediums. Ultimately, you can train with the best and quite honestly, simply be mediocre. This is a path of the soul. Think twice before digging deep into your pockets for thousands of dollars for a “certification”. If you are doing it for you, great. Many working psychics, mediums, and spiritual teachers or coaches teach wonderful classes..take them.  But if it comes with a painfully high fee, or more disturbingly, if it is extra $ to get “certified”, think twice. A positive reputation garnered through work of consistent and excellent quality, your personal integrity, and word of mouth referrals will be what helps you grow your business.  A certification or a laundry list of everyone you trained with won’t mean much if ultimately, the skill set is not powerful and consistent.